Anis' AEP Diaries - Retrospective Blog - 2.0

Wednesday, 9th October 2022// Retrospective Blog 

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5 main activities remains significant in the 3 months of term 1. It’s quite funny how after all, it’s these little things that has the power to alter my teenage life - of course in a good way. Many of the times, teenagers would spend half of their teenage life being absent in the present. There is so much power that we as humans hold but never recognize and one of it is being present. Ever since we were little, the conventional way to approach life is always to keep looking forward - what we want to be, what we should do - but rarely ever that we nurtured the skill of looking back. If we think about it, all of the things that happened in the past like memories, experiences, failures, successes are the ones that manage to push us to become who we are today. But, we all love shortcut that we end up concluding that there is just so much to think about. so, we end up digging this hole, make it comfy and stay there for quite some time. I think I just outed myself…but let it be known that it’s normal! 

Ever since I was a little child, I talk too much. even my mom has made the hypothesis that the mole on top of my lip exists clearly as a result of talking too much which is supported strongly by my ancestors. It’s a superstition. There are these periods of time when I ate candy which in return rewards these sugar rush. What it only does is have my mom's ears become the victim to my garrulous childish self. She’s smart because she’d always look me in the eyes and say "Anis, can you give me five minutes?", paired with that smile that you do when you are doing everything you can to hold yourself back from releasing the inner dragon. Almost many of the times I would say yes…but it never really stopped me at all from coming back and continuing annoying her with my trivial thoughts. 

Since then, I didn't really stop being me. When given a project that requires talking, it’s almost like I'm back to being the child version of myself. That’s one of the main reasons why our speech project was the opportunity for me to project her. Speech was out last project for term one and to say the least, it was really pleasant. All of us had chosen a specific word or phrase related to our main topic of "issues facing young people" and arguably, all of my classmates made good points that are relatable and at the same time factual. Something that is truly outstanding about speech is that, it acts as a vessel for a certain message to be carried out from an input. Through that point of view, what flows out simultaneously are charisma, passion and dedication. Seeing my classmates interpret a turbulent matter whilst utilizing a platform inspired me and assure me that the next generation are already two steps ahead. 

Again, I think I talk too much of scrabble. The reasoning is that throughout my high school life, I paid attention to defending myself and scrabble from my friends all the time. I am VERY protective over it. Here are some beautiful and memorable opinions over the years that stuck to me like a rat on a glue trap. 

1. "It’s an old people game"
2. "You’re a nerd"
3. "Ew."
4. "Do you not have anything else to do in your life?"
5. "Why?"

But thankfully, Ms. Disa brought back this game where everyone in the class has to sit and suffer whether they like it or not (revenge through Ms. Disa…? yes, please hahaha). When I think about it, it's so special that I get to just to sit in silence with my friends who I consider family at this point, being in the same space, doing the same thing, experiencing the same brain hurt. 

It’s not AEP if we don’t have new word games weekly. I didn’t know what I was expecting - but the game just kept on getting tougher and tougher. Sometimes when it has already been 20 minutes and the word game is still unfinished, the class would fall into a complete silence and that’s when I knew we had hit rock bottom. So many characters in one confined space. We have one that is staring blank at the board, one that is just rambling words and possibilities out loud but you genuinely don’t know english anymore after 20 minutes, one that wishes everything to be over and Ms. Disa that sits back and relax. My favorite part is when everyone is mad over the real word because that’s what quordle, specifically, does to people. Truthfully, it’s tough to be happy at 8:30 in the morning because all I can think about is my bed. So, I try to be present most of the times because i’m always thinking about "what if this is my last class doing this?". Many students look at classes as a habitual thing - something that we have to do just because it’s in our schedule. But there is so much more to it when you start thinking that you won’t have this anymore. We will all eventually grow up, mark a point on the map for the next adventure and become a whole different person. While we are still protected from the adult life, it’s comforting to know that I am just living life, not worrying about bills. Just being stressed over a word game. 

AEP acknowledges the concept of bonding with each other. At times, it isn’t all about academics. Being a STEM student that is constantly living within anxiety and pressure, two hours a week of none of those is just heavenly. Term 1 was intense and it's an achievement to persevere through it which makes me realize how AEP played a major role in that. 

Shooting back to present, I am currently blogging as you read this. For me, it’s a new experience to sit down with myself and reflect in a detailed manner on my history being in school. Without realizing, three months passed by and I’m out of breath running to have the clock to stop ticking! Journaling has been a part of my routine when it comes to reflecting my personal life. Therefore, in some ways it feels fresh that I’m applying almost the same skills in AEP. Most of the times, there are a lot of constriction when it comes  to the style you write but I personally think that AEP has freed me up from that cage. I finally feel as if there is actually someone out there in the AEP community who wishes to immerse themselves in my little world and spend time interpreting life through my lens. 

These are the core memories locked in a part of my mind. Therefore, I humbly present my efforts of recalling the suppressed memories in AEP from term one through words :) 

Until next time! 

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